The Phone Call(Part 1)

You there, right?

What’s going on in your head Derik?
Nothing. He responded in a expressionless voice.
You okay?
Yeah. Pretty much.
Are you sure?
Yeah Clara, please don’t poke me with your questions.
I said I am fine!! ( silence) (heavy gasps)
Why you talking like that to me? How can you be so rude? If you don’t wanna talk, hang up!!
Fine, I am sorry!!
I just, I am not so fine Clara. I mean I am fine but there’s one part of mine which is not okay.

I know, tell me, what’s bothering you.
Breath first. I am listening, tell me!

I am missing you Clara. I am missing you here!!
I am thousand miles apart and it feels cold.
I am questioning my existence. Is this really what I truly starved for? And if it is so, it’s accomplishment gives me no pleasure and happiness.
I am not feeling contented.

I don’t know where I wanna go, what I wanna do next. I am not able to find the word “Settlement” in my dictionary.

All I am having are the blank pages of my life which don’t have any words on them. I am lost in my own story Clara.

I feel like I am still at the same point from where I once started. But that time I had you, my friends, family and today I have nobody, not even my own self!!

I am not able to find the quotient of my happiness. My work doesn’t please me anymore. I don’t know why am I even doing it? This country seems so alien to me.
I miss the festive vibes of the city, I miss the constant fights with you.

I feel like a guest in my own house, where I visit after months, live for a while and again pack my bags to a place where I am not happy anymore.
In the race of earning more and more, I have lost my little.

I have lost the things which time can never allow me to repay for.

My bank balance is increasing but my happiness quotient is still at the same point.

I have lost my home in the quest of building a home away from home.
This eats me out Clara. This feeling is scary.

I miss your soft fingers in my head, our debates over the food preferences, your warm hugs at the end of the day and your constant complains.

I miss Maa! She says she's fine but I don't know.

I have tasted hundreds of cuisines here but still my heart longs for eating paneer and mithai (sweets) with you.

I am messed up Clara!!

I don’t know what to hold on, and what to let go.
But talking to you, listening your breaths and voice over the phone gives me strength to think above the dilemma.

I want you to be there when I win!
I want you to be there when I lose!
Just next to me, holding my hand in all the victories and sorrows.
You there, right?

(Nobody but her silence wrapped in the heavy breaths and soft snores replied that she is there and will always be there to hold on.)

Tight kiss. Good night. (And they both slept holding their phones listening to each other's breath. )

To know what happened next, Click on the link below :


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